It's been a couple of days since I was here and I'm very sorry. I'm actually not feeling well and have had to take the last two days off work. I've been watching YouTube videos by the dozen, getting some ideas for my new polymer clay jewellery line which I'm hoping to get started on very soon. I'm thinking somewhat steampunk, vintage, antique looking stuff, but we'll see how we go. There's a few things I need first (yes husband, this means I'm going shopping!) but I should have this collection underway relatively soon.
But that's not the reason for this blog. The real reason I'm here today is because I'm back to playing with the idea of going back to creating and selling on a full time basis, or at least working less than I am now. I'm pushing 40 now and feel like all I do is work, work, and work. I won't be lying on my death bed wishing I'd spent more time at work, surely! I think this is coming up now because as much as I love teaching (and I really, really do!), I love myself, and my family more. My contract is up in a few weeks, leaving me out in the cold again and on the hunt for a new class and a new school. It means learning everyone's names all over, getting to know more people, more kids, more parents. It means learning new pedagogy, new rules, new processes. It means learning new systems. It means hoping to not get lost again. Damn it, it's hard. Technically, I wouldn't be "quitting." I'd simply be without a contract for a while. That's okay.
There are a number of pros and cons to this decision and as a fantatical list maker, let's see how this pans out. Play along if you're also figuring out if you want to quit your job or not.
- More time with my gorgeous family
- More time to create and feed my soul with what really makes me happy
- More freedom
- Less work related stress!
- Less stress = better health
- Relief teaching means more control over where and when I work, and where and when I don't.
- No planning for hours and hours on end.
- No burnout
- Less money, or at least less guarantee of it coming in. That's a biggie.
- Very real possibility of completely failing and landing on my butt in front of well, everyone.
Well...there you go. Just as I thought, the only two things holding me back are a lack of $$ and the chance I'll look like an idiot. Hell, I've been broke and have made myself look like an idiot plenty of times before. It's not new.
Here's the question I need to be asking:
The solution is staring me in the face. I think I'm going to work until my contract is up....then see where life leads me. I'm tired of the fight. I've been conditioned to believe that to live I have to work 60 hours a week, never see my family, get paid, and do it all over again. I'm not sure that's really the case. I'm not LIVING. I'm EXISTING. We can't go on fancy holidays. We can't pay private rent. we can't do a lot of things more well off people can do, and yet I'm still working my ass off! That to me is the definition of insanity. It's totally NUTS. My time is precious, so is my family. So am I.
A friend recently told me, "If you have a passion for teaching, you can do it anywhere. You don't have to do it in a classroom." She's absolutely, 100% right. I don't have to.
Until next time,
I'm also looking for product testers to check out my new line, wear the pieces for a few days, and let me know what they think. I'm always very wary of doing anything new (I'd never forgive myself if a piece sold then went and broke after a couple of wears!) so I like to just take my time, test the waters and see what happens. If you're interested, let me know! I won't be sending items out for a while, but if you think this is something you'd like to help with, just drop me a line. You can leave a comment here, email me (firstname.lastname@example.org), or leave a message on Facebook.